The Speeches for Amy's 21st

MY SPEECH

Happy 21st Birthday Amy!

I have had the privilege to know Amy since we were about 6 years old. We were very strange children, who took pleasure in the simple things such as eating yellow sand, filming video clips in trees, trying to make rafts out of firewood and plastic bags, and trying to figure out new ways of getting our neighbour Bronny to let us use her pool.

Amy has an affect on people, and growing up with her definitely left her mark on me. For example, my fear of dogs started when Amy explained to me that if I didn’t let her dog hump me, he would bite me. It was many years of waiting for Jack to finish getting friendly with my leg before I realised that this wasn’t true.

But apart from tormenting the kids on Reflection Gardens, Amy was a kind child, with an affiliation for all creatures. Over the years, Amy has owned, and killed many animals. Firstly, there was the school’s pet hamster who came to its demise when Amy buried it in the backyard to see if it would dig a burrow to get out. Then there was the bunch of crazy crabs who Amy smashed against the wall because she liked the sound of their shell cracking. Chocolate the bunny came next, who sadly passed away due to malnutrition. Then, my personal favourite, the short life of her pet parrot, Oscar.

Amy wanted to teach her new pet how to speak, so she stayed up all night making a tape to play for him while she was at school. The tape had Amy saying “You can call me Oscar” over and over, as well as her singing “Oscar and friends”. The next morning, Amy left to school with the tape playing in Oscar’s cage. That evening, Amy rushed home to see if Oscar had learnt to talk, only to find his cage empty. Poor Oscar had had a heart attack and sadly, died. Ironically, at Oscar’s funeral, Amy decided to place the tape, along some of Oscar’s other belongings, in the shoebox that was his coffin. Even in death, Oscar could not escape the Amy-tape.

As we got older, we became more adventurous. We discovered the pleasures of smoking strawberry teabags, climbing on the roof, and driving Amy’s dad’s car. At Amy’s old house which had a very steep driveway, we discovered that we could release the hand break on her dad’s car, push it up to the top of the driveway, and get in before the car started rolling again. We called it “driving the car”, and when Amy’s dad caught us doing it, it then became known as “Shitting our pants with fear in Amy’s dad’s car.”

When high school started, we couldn’t wait for camp. Me and Amy were bunk mates in the Spinnaker dorm. This is when everyone got to find out that Amy talks in her sleep, or rather, swears in her sleep. People in our dorm often awoke to the sounds of Amy’s sleep profanities.

After we got a bit more settled in, the party phase began. We used to go to parties every single Friday and Saturday night, and we got away with sooo much together. Probably the best and biggest party I can remember was Amy’s not-so-sweet 16th, where pretty much the whole of Mercedes and Trinity were wasted in Amy’s back yard. Back then, Amy definitely knew how to throw a good party, and she still does now!

I’m glad I got to grow up with you Amy, and be a part of everything that lead you to where you are now. Happy Birthday Amy!

GABBY'S SPEECH

When one thinks of Amy, many words come to mind: Smart, friendly, random, ready for a good time, gorgeous (I mean, look at that face!), blonde (definitely), a little bit crazy and a little bit clumsy (she’s known to smash glass doors...).

My first encounter with Amy was homeroom at the start of year 10. One of my fondest memories of that year was down in Catherine’s Garden at school. Amy, trying to be cool, deciding to show off and jump over the metre high hedge surrounding the garden...As you do...Unfortunately she can be rather clumsy and her foot slipped on the limestone step and instead of landing spectacularly on the other side,, she dived head first and rolled out of the hedge looking a bit worse for wear. Thus begun a great friendship!

I was lucky enough to go traveling with Amy last year and not a night went by without a drink in our hands. The only problem with that was being hungover the next morning and having to be on time for the bus. One such morning, Amy was feeling pretty sorry for herself and I had to have a sick bag ready for her just in case. That day happened to be the day we visited the French Perfumery ... From the dodgy rooms at the generator in London, to the free desert wine from the sexy waiter in Florence and the goings on in Amsterdam, who could ask for a better person to travel with?!

I’d like to share a poem with you guys just to demonstrate how random Amy can be. This is one she wrote to me...

There once was a man named Earl,
Who loved the most beautiful girl,
She was a gold digger
Those black folk called her ‘wigga’
She wanted his enchanted pearl

He was 48 she was 14
The young little girl was really quite mean
She kicked his doodle
Threw out his poodle
She was allergic to Mr. Sheen

Earl began to see
She wasn’t like you or me
She wanted a ring
And all his trippin bling
So he sprayed Mr. Sheen into her tea

I’d like you all to raise your glasses and give three cheers to out stunningly, outrageous, slightly clumsy but oh so fabulous friend...To Amy!